What to Say to Ex Son-In-Law

What to Say to Ex Son-In-Law: Navigating Difficult Conversations with Grace


Divorce is a challenging and emotionally charged experience for everyone involved, including extended family members. When a marriage dissolves, it can be particularly difficult to maintain a healthy relationship with a former son-in-law. However, finding the right words to say can help ease tensions and promote a respectful coexistence. In this article, we will explore some helpful tips on what to say to your ex son-in-law, fostering open communication and understanding. Additionally, we will address frequently asked questions about this delicate situation.

1. Express empathy and understanding:

Approach conversations with your ex son-in-law by acknowledging the emotions and difficulties he may be facing. Show empathy and understanding towards his situation, as divorce affects individuals differently. Offering a listening ear and expressing genuine concern can help create a safe space for open communication.

2. Focus on shared interests and common ground:

Finding common ground can help rebuild a positive relationship with your ex son-in-law. Engage in conversations centered around shared interests, such as hobbies, sports, or mutual acquaintances. By focusing on these areas, you can foster a sense of connection and develop a healthier bond beyond the divorce.

3. Offer support for your grandchildren:

If you have grandchildren from your daughter’s previous marriage, it’s crucial to prioritize their well-being. Show your ex son-in-law that you genuinely care about their happiness and offer support when needed. This gesture can help strengthen the bond between both families, ensuring that the children feel loved and supported throughout the divorce process.

4. Avoid discussing personal matters:

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When conversing with your ex son-in-law, it’s essential to respect each other’s boundaries and avoid discussing personal matters related to the divorce. Delving into sensitive topics may exacerbate tensions and strain your relationship further. Instead, focus on neutral subjects and maintain a respectful distance from potentially triggering conversations.

5. Practice forgiveness:

Forgiveness is a powerful tool that can aid in the healing process for everyone involved. Although difficult, letting go of resentments and grudges can pave the way for a more amicable relationship with your ex son-in-law. Seek inner peace by acknowledging the past but focusing on building a better future for your family.


1. Should I maintain contact with my ex son-in-law?

The decision to maintain contact with your ex son-in-law ultimately depends on various factors, such as the dynamics of your family and the willingness of both parties to engage in healthy communication. If it benefits your grandchildren and promotes a peaceful environment, it may be worth considering.

2. How do I handle disagreements with my ex son-in-law?

In any relationship, disagreements are bound to occur. When conflicts arise, approach them with a calm and rational mindset. Focus on finding a resolution that benefits all parties involved, prioritizing the well-being of your grandchildren and the overall family dynamic.

3. Can I offer advice to my ex son-in-law regarding his future relationships?

While it is natural to want to offer guidance, it is important to respect boundaries and remember that your ex son-in-law’s personal life is no longer your concern. If he seeks advice, provide it with caution and sensitivity, being mindful not to overstep any boundaries.

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4. How can I support my daughter during her divorce without straining my relationship with my ex son-in-law?

Supporting your daughter during her divorce is essential, but it is equally important to maintain a level of neutrality to avoid straining your relationship with your ex son-in-law. Be a listening ear, offer emotional support, and assist when needed, but do so without taking sides or fueling animosity.


Navigating a relationship with your ex son-in-law after a divorce can be challenging, but with the right approach, it is possible to maintain a respectful and amicable connection. Remember to express empathy, find common ground, prioritize your grandchildren’s well-being, and avoid discussing personal matters. Through forgiveness and understanding, you can foster a healthier relationship that benefits all parties involved.